How Little We Knew!

As we begin a new year and look forward to Verity's 2nd birthday in less than 2 months, I can't help feeling rather sentimental. Three years ago I had no idea what kind of a roller coaster journey lay ahead of us. Two years ago I was pensive and terrified in the final stretch of a precarious pregnancy. One year ago I was astonished and delighted that we were approaching that huge milestone, The First Birthday, which we heard only 5-10% of Trisomy 18 babies ever reached.

I thought my heart was full being the mother of 8 wonderful children. Now? Now it's absolutely overflowing! Getting to be Verity's mommy is icing on the cake of my personal journey in motherhood. I'm so thankful God prepared us to be her special family.

I remember the terrifying days following her confirmed diagnosis halfway through my pregnancy. We thought we would have to bury our baby shortly after her arrival. How little we knew how strong our baby would prove to be!

I remember the secret fears of not knowing how to take care of this different child, even wondering if I could possibly love her as much as my other children. How unexpected the journey of becoming an expert in Verity's care simply because we love her unconditionally!

I remember the dread and anxiety looking at the countless unknowns. The "what ifs" threatened to overtake me and carry me into a sea of depression and despair. How little I fathomed what joy this small but mighty bundle would bring to us all!

Verity Irene is plunging headlong toward her 2nd birthday (Feb. 28). She is not a scary statistic. She is a beautiful, joyful, playful little girl. She completes our family. She touches the hearts of strangers. She has made us all better people simply for being part of our lives. When I was pregnant with her, I read similar testimonies from other special needs families, some of whom have grown very dear to us over the past couple of years as we have gotten involved in online communities. I clung to those words, other people's stories of love and joy and hope. And slowly I began to dare to believe that maybe...just maybe...someday that would be OUR story, too.

And now--it is. It has been all along, really. Perhaps at times we were so busy trying to survive we didn't realize what was happening...the struggles and fears and difficulties only highlighted the beautiful tapestry woven with threads of love and joy and hope.

If you or someone you know has received a scary diagnosis for an unborn or recently born child...please know first of all that you are not alone--you're not alone with this specific diagnosis, and you're not alone in feeling all the strange, unfamiliar, even contradictory emotions that seem to be overtaking your soul. Have courage--dig beyond the statistics and find the families who will become your tribe, those who are already walking the path you've been unceremoniously dumped on.

Most of all, reach out to the One who created you AND your child. Know that He never makes mistakes. There is purpose far beyond what we can see and touch.

And it is GOOD.