...But the Flesh Is Weak

Being 42 and pregnant is not necessarily a combination I would recommend. Two years ago I ran a marathon in Athens, Greece; two hours ago I managed to walk 4 blocks from my chiropractor's office back to our house...and felt proud to accomplish that much after this week of woe.

Usually my pregnancies are pretty "easy." Oh, sure, I've dealt with some small issues here and there (early pregnancy nausea, some heartburn, swelling) and of course the inevitable feeling-like-a-whale, grunting-when-rising, awkwardly-flopping-about phase that means Baby's due date is approaching (although not soon enough for my liking).

But this...? My 11th pregnancy, the 9th one to make it past the first trimester...this pregnancy takes the cake for physical difficulties. Let's be real: it was a number of pregnancies ago when I realized that being pregnant in my 30s was much harder than in my 20s! And in my 40s?! Good heavens! I thought the varicose veins and swelling I dealt with during Rhema's (Baby #8) pregnancy were pretty awful! Not surprisingly, the veins began bothering me again early on with Verity, and this time I took the time to get fitted for some quality compression stockings that have helped tremendously. In fact, one improvement is that I hardly ever have any swelling. Yahoo for that!

Unfortunately, the combination of my age plus the T18 diagnosis has me a bit on edge, so when I experience what is for me a new and unusual form of pain or discomfort, I'm never quite sure whether it's something I just have to endure or whether it warrants further examination. Christmas Eve had me questioning some more experienced folks when the stabbing pains in my right leg (the one with the lovely varicose veins) were sharp enough to reduce me to tears. Based on input from some nurse friends, we decided I should head to the emergency room (because of course these things happen on the weekends when the military clinic is closed) to get checked out, just in case deep vein thrombosis was the cause.

Knowing I was likely to be "occupied" for a number of hours, I chose to drive myself and have Ted stay home with the kids. I left the house around 11am, all my hopes and plans for a lovely, family-centered Christmas Eve crashing down as I took a small packed lunch, water bottles, and some reading material...Rick and Karen Santorum's account of having a little girl, Bella, with trisomy 18. Bella's Gift is a beautifully written and brutally honest love story.

I was glad for the book...I waited in the waiting room nearly an hour and a half, and then I was in the ER exam room for about 4 hours. I quickly learned that I needed to MOVE every 10 minutes or so; I couldn't stay sitting or lying very long without the stabbing pains bothering me. So I rotated between the bed (leg elevated) to pacing my room a bit to sitting awhile to pacing the room...and so on.

In between all of this I saw actual people from time to time, lol! Eventually I got blood drawn to determine whether it was "thicker" than normal to see if there was a concern for clotting. Apparently that was the case, because then the next step was meeting the Venous Doppler machine and the friendly tech who accompanied it. She did her job well, but I nearly passed out when she had to scan the painful parts on my lower leg! My blood pressure dropped and there was a bit of a stir, but before too long I was back to normal and hearing from the doctor that, PRAISE GOD, I did NOT have DVT but only superficial clotting (sometimes called phlebitis). I was released soon after that with instructions for home care plus a prescription for some pain killers...which was all but useless since it was Christmas Eve night by this point and nothing was open!

I made the drive back to our little town in time to join the family for the Christmas Eve sermon delivered by our pastor, having just missed the music portion during which our oldest daughter played the violin for the first time in a non-recital setting. Sigh. Thankfully her dad captured the songs on video, and she did fantastic!! So proud of my beautiful girl!

My leg pain forced a much simpler Christmas than I may have desired...even though we had already been planning for a simpler family celebration. My wonderful family pitched in to prepare various parts of the meal, and it was a memorable day even though (for me) a good portion was spent trying to prop my leg and keep moist heat on it.

After a few days, the pain from the clotting was greatly subsiding...but yesterday morning I awoke with a severe Charlie-horse spasm in my hamstring of all places. (Same leg as the varicose veins and clots--oh, joy!) The spasms were nearly non-stop allllllll day. The only relief I experienced happened during my two Epsom salt baths, one after lunch and one before bedtime. Today the spasms seem to have stopped--mostly--occurring only when I transition from sitting to standing or vice versa instead of continuously. The muscles all up the back of my right leg are extremely tender. My husband and I went to the chiropractor this morning, and I decided to try walking home slowly. I would not have been able to do that yesterday, so there is definitely improvement...but I feel like an old woman! Between the rotating use of heat packs and essential oils and pain relief cream, I am feeling far beyond these 42 years.

This pregnancy has been so hard on my body.

But it has also been extremely hard on my heart.

Some days it is difficult to say which is the worse for the wear...