Weathering Verity's First Real Sickness

March was a busy month for Verity! In between her big birthday party and getting her first car, we had an emergency trip to the hospital along with a brief (30-hour) stay in the pediatric unit. The week leading up to Verity's party, a few of our kiddos had been sick with some kind of respiratory junk, the first time in a long time we've really battled anything other than minor sniffles. Thanks to our wellness regimen, we were able to contain things pretty well--the kids who did get sick were better within a couple of days, and we managed to keep them as far away from Verity as possible. I had every diffuser in the house kept busy disseminating our essential oils into the air, and we oiled everyone's feet at night and drank a lot of Thieves tea! It seemed that Verity, Rhema, and I were going to escape unscathed.

But alas, in the end Verity did succumb. Frankly, I'm amazed that she was the last to get sick! Her immune system does not seem fragile at all! But of course it hit over the weekend...our nurse warned us on Friday that she suspected something was coming on, and sure enough, Saturday morning Verity was just not herself. She had a low grade fever Sunday afternoon, and we decided to put her oxygen on for a bit of support. We were hopeful that we could ride it all out at home.

But Sunday night things took a turn for the worse. We were so grateful that we had a nurse on duty overnight! She worked with our oxygen tanks as needed but our supply wasn't enough (we only have 2 tiny tanks because we were prescribed a minimal amount--which we aren't even currently using--to help with OSA). We learned later that one of our valves was faulty, so we had an empty tank we thought was full.

Anyway--by 4am we were making plans to take Verity to the hospital, but before I could collect my thoughts and my things, our nurse told me I needed to call 911 instead. Verity was non-responsive and turning dusky. The EMS team arrived quickly and gave Verity a nebulizer treatment and more oxygen before we strapped her into her car seat and secured that into the ambulance. I rode along with her, and it was obvious that the treatment had helped significantly--she simply sat quietly, looking around!

They never did any testing to find out what respiratory thing she was fighting, but whatever it was, it didn't knock her out too long. We were admitted to the hospital and stayed overnight. Verity slept almost the whole time we were there. We knew she wasn't feeling well because she never fought her cannula! The next morning, though, she was doing well on minimal oxygen (she was only at 1/4L after arriving anyway), so we were discharged with more tanks from our medical supply company and orders to keep her on 1/8L probably for "a couple of weeks."

Three days later, we followed up with her PCM, and after a half-hour trial, we were able to ditch the oxygen! Of course she was heavily monitored, but praise the Lord we never did have to give it to her again. And a follow-up with her pulmonologist a week after that also gave good news--she doesn't think Verity needs to be followed, as her lungs are (and always have been) so clear. However, we did put another follow-up appointment on the schedule just in case the sleep clinic (scheduled for the end of May) doctor decides that Verity should be seen by pulmonology again.

Another Transition

On Monday we received some news that has made my heart sad all week. A few months ago we learned that we were eligible to receive nursing care, and the process, once begun, went very quickly. Before we knew it, we had settled into a new routine that included Margie, our full-time nurse. Any doubts or concerns I had about this transition melted away, and before long, Margie felt like part of our family. She has utterly fallen in love with Verity and cares for her so tenderly.

And so it broke my heart when she told us on Monday that she had regretfully given her two-weeks' notice to the nursing agency. A work-from-home job that she had applied for before she even met us has come through for her, and in her words, "at her age" she feels this is a better work scenario for her for the long-term. I can tell she is heartsick about it, which only makes me feel even sadder. It's amazing how three short months could so completely change us all. Though I haven't really ever been able to nap as we half-joked about, it has been such a blessing to have consistent care for Verity, allowing me to focus more on homeschooling and mothering my other children. Having Margie attend various doctor's appointments and keep up with Verity's therapeutic exercises at home has been an extra bonus.

The nursing agency is setting up a meeting for us in a few days with a temporary nurse who is only available for 2 weeks but who can hopefully help fill in the gap while they find a more permanent nurse who will be a good fit. I'm almost sick about it--there are so many little things Margie just KNOWS and takes care of...the thought of "training" one person only to lose her and then "train" another person is exhausting and overwhelming. Meanwhile, I have heard horror stories from other Trisomy mamas of their nursing experiences, and I am still amazed that we had such "good luck" with our first experience! I know it was God's hand of direction, but still...other families are praying, too! Why we should have such a fabulous nurse our first time around and others are having difficulties is a mystery...and though I'm not superstitious, there is a sense of dread that THIS TIME things won't turn out as well. I need to keep praying and trusting, I know. God knew about this transition long before we did; He brought us Margie, and He can bring us another wonderful person whom we can love and who will love our Verity.

Nursing Care

We recently learned that we are eligible for skilled nursing care for Verity through the ECHO program, with Medicaid picking up additional hours. I still need to figure out what paperwork to do for the latter, but ECHO has been on the ball, calling me several times in the past week or two. The bottom line is that we can get nursing care 8 hours a day for 5 days a week, to be used however we want! This is both exciting and rather unnerving--now that things are in motion, it is all happening so fast. ECHO recommended a particular local nursing agency, and they contacted us last week and did a home visit to meet Verity and ask even more questions, lol. We met a nurse a few days later--shocking, since the case manager had indicated that it can sometimes take up to 6 weeks to find someone. Not surprisingly, the candidate prefers daytime hours...we are hoping to find nighttime care at least 1-2 nights a week so that we can have reliable sleeping hours, but daytime help will be a blessing for sure.

After I interviewed the home nurse, I felt comfortable telling the nursing agency that we are ready to try and see how things go with her. She is an older lady with 26 years of nursing experience including extensive experience with feeding tube patients. She has 5 years of exclusive pediatric experience and has lived in our state for almost a year. My friend Joyce was visiting us and sat in on the interview, and she gave favorable input as well. The nurse will come Monday, October 16, for her first day...Ted has Oct 16-18 off work, so he will be here to assess how things start.

I suppose it's normal to have mixed feelings about this. In some ways, we feel Verity is "low maintenance for being so high maintenance," as we sometimes tell folks. She's not on oxygen; she doesn't have a trach. She's hardly been sick, though she has been fighting a sniffle the last week. (As far as we can tell, she only had a fever for a couple of HOURS! Hooray for Thieves and other essential oils!!) At the same time, she is definitely high maintenance compared to our other 8 babies...and I feel extremely stretched JUST caring for Verity (usually on very little sleep), let alone being a wife, mom and homeschool teacher to our other kids, feeding the troops, keeping the schedule, etc. Despite the "what in the world is this going to look like" questions, I've found myself noting times in the last few days when I think..."When the nurse is here, I'll be able to [insert activity here]."

When the nurse is here, I can give undivided attention to the child who is ready for a new math lesson.

When the nurse is here, I can read a story to my littles.

When the nurse is here, I can sit with my teens and discuss their literature.

When the nurse is here, I can pump without perching precariously in a position that keeps me in reach of both Verity and...whatever. (My breakfast, the coloring toddler, the child working on handwriting, my paperwork...)

When the nurse is here, I can TAKE A NAP AFTER LUNCH!

When the nurse is here, she can do more therapy activities with Verity, things I would like to do but simply cannot--not every day, not very long, or not at all.

These are the things I'm telling myself. I'm not feeling any guilt, really (trust me, I usually excel in that department); but I think my main struggle concerns me not having control. But if I'm honest, how much control do I really have on a daily basis anyway?! Our schedule is in chaos, and so much of our daily activity depends on what is happening with Verity at the moment. And there are all too many moments when I am simply exhausted, overwhelmed, and unable to think clearly.

So. I have decided to assume the best with this new scenario. I know it will take some time to adjust to having another person in the house--I imagine it will be difficult for me to hear Verity fussing or crying and yet continue doing whatever I am already doing with the other children. But hopefully--prayerfully--we will strike a healthy balance, and my other children can have a more rested, less stressed-out mama during the weekdays! Please pray with us about this transition!