Friday, September 23, 2016…from my prayer journal:
Yesterday may well be a day I look back on as “the day that
changed my life.” Time will tell…in the meantime, I wait 73 hours…wait for
definite answers, resolution to the “abnormal results of your blood test.” That
phone call was NOT what I expected early yesterday morning; I was waiting for a
call to schedule our 20-week ultrasound. But. Instead I learned about test
results that show an increased risk of our baby having Trisomy 18. Edwards
syndrome. Basically a death sentence—either baby dies in utero, or shortly
after birth, or, in rare cases, lives longer with severe—severe—physical and mental difficulties.
We are still looking at fairly good odds: 9/10 chance we
have a perfectly healthy baby. But 1/10 is quite a jump from 1/187—my average
risk based on my (oh-so-ancient) age.
"My soul finds rest in God alone—my salvation comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be
shaken." (Psalm 62:1-2, NIV)
Oh, God! Whatever we learn Monday at the ultrasound—it won’t change
who you are! It won’t change my passion for you; at least it won’t make me turn
away from you. I trust you fully because you are worthy of my trust. I desire
to give you glory no matter what. You know my heart—it’s yours.
You also know my weaknesses and frailties. You know my
fears. My anxieties. My needs. Your grace is sufficient. Hold me close, Lord.
These next 3 days will seem so long. And then…what? “Each day has enough
trouble of its own.” Let me be a seeker of your kingdom.
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