My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!

This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. (Psalm 119:28, 50 ESV)

Monday, October 3, 2016

And So It Begins

Friday, September 23, 2016…from my prayer journal:

Yesterday may well be a day I look back on as “the day that changed my life.” Time will tell…in the meantime, I wait 73 hours…wait for definite answers, resolution to the “abnormal results of your blood test.” That phone call was NOT what I expected early yesterday morning; I was waiting for a call to schedule our 20-week ultrasound. But. Instead I learned about test results that show an increased risk of our baby having Trisomy 18. Edwards syndrome. Basically a death sentence—either baby dies in utero, or shortly after birth, or, in rare cases, lives longer with severe—severe—physical and mental difficulties.

We are still looking at fairly good odds: 9/10 chance we have a perfectly healthy baby. But 1/10 is quite a jump from 1/187—my average risk based on my (oh-so-ancient) age.

"My soul finds rest in God alone—my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." (Psalm 62:1-2, NIV)

Oh, God! Whatever we learn Monday at the ultrasound—it won’t change who you are! It won’t change my passion for you; at least it won’t make me turn away from you. I trust you fully because you are worthy of my trust. I desire to give you glory no matter what. You know my heart—it’s yours.

You also know my weaknesses and frailties. You know my fears. My anxieties. My needs. Your grace is sufficient. Hold me close, Lord. These next 3 days will seem so long. And then…what? “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Let me be a seeker of your kingdom.

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