My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word!

This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life. (Psalm 119:28, 50 ESV)

Monday, October 3, 2016


Written Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Today was an information-filled day. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting for our ultrasound appointment, we have been flooded with more information than we perhaps wanted. This morning a doctor from the university called with the FISH results (preliminary amnio findings), which confirmed Trisomy 18. Not a surprise after seeing the ultrasound, but still…

Then the women’s health clinic called later in the morning, and I spoke with one of the doctors at some length. She was very kind and compassionate and told me it was my decision whether to transfer my OB care to the university or to continue monthly appointments with the military clinic where I've been seen (my preference). I did learn that our insurance completely covers my and baby’s care—they would not cover an abortion, which somewhat restores my faith in our government health care. Of course abortion is not an option for us, but due to a miscommunication in our conversation, the doctor’s comment originally made it sound like our insurance would not cover my OB care and delivery of our baby! I was so relieved to find out that the doctor was actually talking about abortion not being covered! Whew. Such heavy things…

Anyway. It was rather bizarre, being calm and collected on the phone, talking with this doctor about where delivery will happen—it all depends on the baby’s condition at the time of delivery. If she dies in utero…we will deliver at the hospital where our last baby was born. We had such a good experience there, and I loved everyone we met. I would not mind at all being there—except for the fact that of course I would much prefer to deliver a live baby girl. :-(

If she is still alive when I go into labor, we will deliver her at the university medical center, which is much better equipped for the neonatal care that she will need. I confess I was relieved to hear that they are concerned for our baby’s welfare after birth despite the fact that most in the medical community view Trisomy 18 as a death sentence.

It was strangely comforting to be able to make even the relatively simple decision about where and how to continue my OB care. I am so thankful that I’m not being told what to do, that my (and our) desires are a huge factor in what happens going forward. My next OB appointment was rescheduled so that I can meet with an actual OBGYN doctor, not a nurse practitioner as was previously the case. I will be seen again on October 14, and we have another ultrasound on October 24. The complete amnio analysis will only give us specific information on the genes/structure of the Trisomy 18…it will not give us information about how the condition will manifest in our baby girl specifically. We will rely on the ultrasound to give us more of a heads-up with that.

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